Shane George, Alabama native and friend to Let’s Be Friends Again, checks in with a look at Hawkman and Hawkwoman.
I’M BACK, BITCHES, shane george comes back correct to you all with another phatty dose of DC Comics lore, I’m sure ya’ll missed me but i got lost in a forest after i watched paranormals activities for a bit and then I was all up in traction for I can’t literally remember how long and then I was finishing high school because I sent a resume to CVS and they said I needed high school and i was all wrapped up in Brightest Day so much it made me lose my mind a lil bit, you know, typical life down here in the AL.
TOday, I want to talk about Hawkman and Hawkwoman, specifically who the f are they, seriously, every tiem I see them you know there’s gonna be romantic tenshuns because they are immortally star crossed loves and that always makes things awkward like “damn hawkwoman you are reborn as hawkgirl now which means you are 15 and I live in New Jersey so your shit needs to be at least 17 before I get down there like my bro mark Sanchez was telling me.”
that is a typical hawkman storlyine as I’m sure you are aware.
We read that and go HO HUM and it’s like, do somehting new jeff johns, we’ve seen Hawkman a million times before and it’s always SO BORING even though he looks like he got a Bungee Jump harness on at all times which, ask my cousin Beanie about the time he tried to bungee jump off a cell phone tower with a bunch of wet towels rapped together, LOL, I made him put the Hawkman hat on that I made from a wolverine halloween mask w/ a bunch of feathers from that turkey that died spontaneously from fear because i was shooting all around it b/c those mother fuckers can move crazy fast. when I go hunting i try to miss stuff on purpos because i do not like killing things unlike my dad who is the Punisher for turkeis like Italian turkies killed his wife in central park and he never sleeps because he has to kill all turkeis but sometimes there is incidentals like that hawkman turkey (rip) or mr. sanderson, long story, i will tell u later
NEway beanie jumpin off the tower with the feather hat and I told him he needs a MACE because you know Hawkman never goes NEwhere w/o a mace like why is that his number one weapon why do you not have batman make you a laser gun but i guess batman would not make you a gun and maybe punch you if you asked him and start crying, that would be a bad thing to do to ur bro batman i imagine.
beanie broke his collarbone.
Thanks, Shane. Tune in next week as Shane takes a researched look into the storied career of John Byrne. – COF