Pizza! Pizza! *gunshot*
July 23rd, 2012

Pizza! Pizza! *gunshot*

Few things make you feel less like a human being than eating an entire pizza, alone, not even using a goddamn table, just you with the pizza on your lap on your couch like a monster.

This happened to me last night. How do I feel now? The dawn has broken and as I see my visage in the mirror I remember, vaguely, the man who consumed an entire Little Caesar’s pizza in the dark of a stormy Sunday evening. That man is gone now. R.I.P. Sunday night pizza eating Curt.

You died happy, buddy.



  1. Capital X

    Little Ceasar’s is still in existence? Were you eating the pizza while you watched a movie you rented from Blockbuster?


  2. Koltreg

    I used to get one of these and eat it by myself during my DnD Friday games. Somehow I was thinner then.


  3. april

    I see you’ve been under the tutelage of Eugene, and have learned the ancient art of The Sadness Pizza.


  4. Santana

    I want pizza now.


    chrishaley Reply:

    I still have half of one left over from lunch you can have.


  5. chris

    the pie of defeat


  6. josephbscott

    It looks like it was a small; all this agita over a small pizza? Don’t beat yourself up.


  7. Lightning_Armour

    A triple Baconator from Wendy’s has a very similar effect, I’ve found.


  8. Algeya

    An entire pizza?
    You are my idol


  9. M'tt

    I’ve always wondered how chains like Little Caesar’s, Hungry Howie’s and Domino’s stay in business. Inexpensive self-punishment sounds pretty legit.

    The crazy bread is still pretty okay.


  10. Charlotte

    Oh, man, how did YOU know what I was doing Saturday?

    I used a plate, though. I’m not a complete monster.


  11. RiggsHB

    My recent vice is their zesty cheese bread. $4 and you wake up around 4am regretting every tangy bite.


  12. UncannyJay

    Dear god, have I been there FAR too many times.
    Grad school…


  13. chrishaley

    Curt at least has to drive to the Little Caesars. It is literally less than 100 feet from my house.


    Charlotte Reply:

    There is a Coldstone, a Qdoba, a Panera and a Subway within 100 feet of my apartment.

    I have gained so much weight since moving into my apartment.


    UncannyJay Reply:

    I am literally a block away from Huey’s. It’s a wonder my gut doesn’t have its own zip code now.


  14. Stu

    Aquaman’s let himself go a bit…


  15. Justin Wood

    Get your fucking cameras out of my house.


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