All the jobs…
July 18th, 2012

All the jobs…

REPUBLICAAAAAAAAANS!

Rush Limbaugh, sex tourist, said A Thing. It was a dumb A Thing, and thus, everyone did say so, and we all left it alone.

The Dark Knight Rises is happening this week, and everybody is extremely terrified of spoilers. What’s your theory on what’s gonna happen? Is this whole movie gonna be about Bane’s 99% vs. Batman and the 1%? Yo, don’t spoil it. Make some shit up.

I got a text from my pal Shane George about the Batman movie that read, simply:

batmns

This, like a batch of neatly organized tea leaves, is a good omen.

-cof

^ 28 Comments...

  1. lighthousepilot

    I can’t wait for Rush Limbaugh to trip on a bag of dicks and land on them face first…and then choke to death on them.

    [Reply]

  2. MartiniManJoe

    I just wanna see it and get it over with, which I don’t wanna make it sound like im dreading the movie I can’t wait, but it’s time to be done with it

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  3. Daniel McBatman

    dey terk ur jurbbbbbbbssssss

    [Reply]

  4. nobody in particular

    Ah, for the good old days, when comparing Presidential candidates to Batman villains was immediately and irredeemably racist…

    A guy made a lame joke while trying to fill three hours of legacy radio. And only simpletons like lighthousepilot up there are dumb enough to (a) pay attention to it and (b) not understand what a homophone is in the first place. So what?

    It must have been a slow news day and a slow comic day, I guess.

    [Reply]

    april Reply:

    Ok

    [Reply]

    Dylan Reply:

    Cool story, bro.

    [Reply]

    JoshuaJamesCovey Reply:

    I’m not sure you know what a joke is. Then again Rush never seemed to get the hang of it.

    [Reply]

    chrishaley Reply:

    [Reply]

    JoshuaJamesCovey Reply:

    I can’t look away. It’s maddening.

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    nobody in particular Reply:

    Funnier than the comic.

    [Reply]

    Dylan Reply:

    Cool story bro.

    JoshuaJamesCovey Reply:

    Also I’m pretty sure everyone understands the idea that two words can sound the same and have different meanings. Troll better or elsewhere.

    [Reply]

    nobody in particular Reply:

    Awww, look who just looked up “homonym” on wikipedia! You’re so cute!

    [Reply]

    Charlotte Reply:

    Awww, look who doesn’t understand the difference between “homonym” and “homophone”! You’re so cute!

    Charlotte Reply:

    What is this I can’t even.

    1) Rush wasn’t making a joke. Does he really believe that Nolan using the character Bane was an attempt to smear Romney? Probably not. Is he going act like he’s serious and feign outrage over it? You betcha.

    2) Finding said feigned outrage distasteful doesn’t mean you don’t understand what a homophone is. How does that even begin to make sense?

    [Reply]

    wolkin Reply:

    it is clear to my that you all suffer from homophonia

    [Reply]

  5. david brothers

    I heard the new Batman includes an extended musical number scored by Prince. Is this true?

    [Reply]

    chrishaley Reply:

    This is 100% true, but the most important thing is to remember that the song is completely pro-Obama.

    null

    [Reply]

    david brothers Reply:

    Can you imagine how glorious that would be? He’s staring down Bane, bloody and battered, and suddenly…

    “Dearly beloved… we are gathered here today…”

    [Reply]

    Dylan Reply:

    I’d spring for the IMAX for that.

  6. Charlotte

    Meh, I’ve noticed that every writer breathlessly titling their newest essay “Batman Hates the 99%!” has yet to, you know, actually see the film. Because why write a thoughtful analysis of the political themes of the movie two days after it opens when you can rumormonger now!

    [Reply]

  7. M'tt

    See. Nobody was drawing a connection between politicians and Jeep Swenson’s Bane in 1997.

    I want to see THAT radio show.

    [Reply]

  8. DJ Llama

    Rush gives us Conservatives a bad name. He also makes most of us facepalm when he opens his mouth.

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    Zoidberg Reply:

    From Winamp?

    [Reply]

  9. Danicus Decimus Meridius

    THEY TOOK YER JERB!

    [Reply]

  10. jason quinones

    The stock Market crashes. Bruce Wayne goes broke and loses everything. Alfred quits and works for Superman in his Fortress of Solitude. Commish Gordon reluctantly gives up his BDSM “love nest” apartment that he has shared with Catwoman for weekly afternoon delight sessions and rents it out to Batman. Batman rents himself out as entertainer for children’s parties and bar mitzvahs but he still can’t afford the rent so he places an ad for a room mate in The Gotham City Pennysaver. Bane answers the ad, Bane moves on in and they goes halfsies on the rent. “Odd Couple” like hi-jinks ensue until they both reach their boiling points. Gotham City’s residents get involved and alliances are made. Gangs are formed and riots ensue. All of Gotham City is covered in broken plates of spaghetti.

    [Reply]

  11. Din

    Am i the only one happy to hear Shane’s spot on review of the movie?

    [Reply]

  12. SITE LINK

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    [Reply]

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