Watch a Bad Movie like it’s 1999
February 22nd, 2012

Watch a Bad Movie like it’s 1999

It’s not often you get to make the same mistake twice, especially one that’s discussed as much as the national collective mistake known as The Phantom Menace. I can’t recall how many hours, how much passions, how much energy we as a people have put into hating on Star Wars: Episode I.

But, the second it’s released, we go see it again. We knew it wasn’t going to be different. The pod race still felt like I was trapped inside of an iron maiden watching somebody play a video game.

-cof

^ 36 Comments...

  1. Brad

    I dunno…don’t get me wrong, I still can’t stand the movie, but I was a little surprised at how much the movie didn’t completely suck, after watching it the second time. That’s probably partially because I watched it with my girlfriend’s two boys, and this was their first theatrical Star Wars. While the overall movie was slightly better than I remembered, I hated Jar Jar even more than I did the first time. FUCK JAR JAR.

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    AdamYJ Reply:

    Yeah. Near as I can tell, kids actually do like this one. Peter David posted the same observation regarding taking his youngest daughter to see it on his blog. Anyway, I don’t see what the big deal is. If people don’t like the movie, just don’t watch it again and move on.

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  2. Mike C

    Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill? Oh- it’s that OTHER movie from ’99 that’s been released in 3D? I think somebody’s taking too many of some sort of pill.

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  3. SexyBlackPat

    LoL, i love the black trenchcoat on curt and the chain wallet on chris.
    ahh, the 90s! ;)

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    ZombieMan-Prime Reply:

    Don’t you mean ´´The Matrix“?

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  4. Joseph Brian Scott

    Please put less passions into hating and more passions into passioning things that are worthy of your impassionment.

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    Curt Reply:

    you suck

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    Curt Reply:

    j/k we try to promote stuff but sometimes hating is more funny. you have a point.

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    Joseph Brian Scott Reply:

    I was really just riffing on your unusual use of “passions”, but I’ll take this to heart and try to turn hatred into laughter wherever I go. Like at my trial for elder abuse which begins tomorrow.

    chrishaley Reply:

    To be fair though, I think this comic isn’t really so much about hating on Episode 1 as it’s about wishing we could tell our younger, dumber selves to smarten up.

    And also, about how we could do another version of this comic where the ten years from now versions of us show up to tell the current versions of us not to be idiots by seeing it in 3D.

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    SeanNOLA Reply:

    And then ANOTHER version where 10 years from now, the versions of you from 20 years in the future tell your future-present selves not to see Episode 1 on the Holodeck either. Also, don’t get the dick implants. They find out……..medical things later on.

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    Joey Reply:

    Evil robot usses?

    lurkuriatipsos Reply:

    I put my passions into defending non-transitive verbs.

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  5. UncannyJay

    This is pretty the same reason I keep watching Star Trek: Generations.

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  6. UncannyJay

    *pretty much

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  7. M'tt

    I like all six Star Wars films. I didn’t like the Matrix though, and I have tried to sell my friends on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, so popular opinion may not be too important to me.

    Whatever though. Skip it all and go see The Muppets! Awesome movie.

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    chrishaley Reply:

    I have a Sky Captain pin on one of my jackets. True story.

    My biggest problem with that movie was the fact that Sky Captain really didn’t do that much.

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  8. o0o

    everyone remembers jar-jar, but how about those those slit-eyed aliens that talked with japanese accents?

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  9. Alex

    I’ve never understood why Episode 2 gets a pass, when it’s at least as bad (if not worse) than Episode 1, especially in the excruiating “Love scenes” and final battle which, if the pod race looks like a videogame, looks like a Graphics Card tech demo.

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    chrishaley Reply:

    Episode 2 most certainly does not get a pass. None of the prequels get a pass. They are all the worst.

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  10. JonHex

    I can’t tell whether Curt’s dressed like Neo or Angel.

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    chrishaley Reply:

    Neo.

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  11. Jordjevic

    Haha I love how visibly younger Curt and Chris are. Chris you are a good artist don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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  12. Lightning_Armour

    Wait a minute, young Chris isn’t still wearing his Captain Marvel shirt. Something is amiss here…

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  13. UncannyJay

    Holy crap. Just noticed the rat tail. Requisite number of bricks have been passed.

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    chrishaley Reply:

    You mean the required braid and ponytail all Jedi Padawans are required to have as part of their training?

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  14. Markus Seaberry

    I don’t really want to see Episode 1 again. I am tempted to see it with my girlfriend because she has not seen any Star Wars films. I just hate giving George Lucas any more of my money for Star Wars, but I will probably wind up doing it.

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    chrishaley Reply:

    Truth.

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    o0o Reply:

    i thought at least the CGI would look good in 3D, but it was probably the shoddiest 3D i have ever seen, everything looked like cardboard cutouts. they clearly didn’t re-render anything, but just used some crummy post-processing on the footage they already had. the ‘automatic 3D’ effect my friend’s TV has looked way better.

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    Pablo Reply:

    do the experiment. then post the result or something. that would be funny

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  15. mathematicscore

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y&feature=g-all-s&context=G24b4cdcFAAAAAAAAAAA

    I’ll just leave this here…

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  16. Tony

    When it came out the first time, I went and watched it with three of my friends. They were English as a second language students. Had a LOT to learn about the language.

    We walked out and I asked them what they thought. I don’t kid here, they all worked their way around to asking me,

    “Wasn’t the dialogue really stilted and artificial?”.
    How will 3D have changed anything?.

    Love the perspective use this week, quite nice art, theatrical even.

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  17. Kosta

    And what happens in 10 years when the 4D version is released?!?!?!

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  18. thefly

    If lucas is going to continue telling ‘the untold stories’ in the star wars universe, you know what i want? Young Han Solo adventures. we’ll see him in his smuggler days, taking all sorts of dangerous missions and bounties. we can see just what’s the deal with boba fett. It would be awesome, it would be like, Han is Mal and Chewie is Jane… I now realize I just want more Firefly. make it so plz.

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  19. petes12

    but the actual pod race videogame for n64 was a lot of fun

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