Lux Aeterna by way of Winkerbean
There are few things more depressing than Funky Winkerbean. Chris Haley’s Mini-Mates collection, perhaps. My love life.
But it’s hard to beat a daily comic strip where somebody steps on a landmine, another person dies after a prolonged battle with cancer, and John Byrne is prominently featured.
So, if you don’t quite get this one, just remember that there might be a few other things that could make you feel worse about your life than Funky Winkerbean.
Sorry this strip is late. I made a big deal out of saying our stuff would be on time Tuesday and, of course, the first one since then is late. Apologies all around, we’re still working out some kinks here.
And thanks for the Funky inspiration from Chris Sims and Eugene Ahn over at War Rocket Ajax. Funky Winkerbean would have never graced my life if not for those guys, so go listen to the genesis of it all here.

April 9th, 2010 at 11:19 am
The black background makes the art look really striking.
Also, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. I LOVE THIS STRIP.
God, Funky Winkerbean. What is wrong with you.
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April 9th, 2010 at 11:44 am
Yep, I’m forwarding this one to Frulinger.
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April 9th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
If you want depressing, take a look at MY love life, or, rather, lack there of. Just make sure you have any and all sharp objects kept at a distance. I take no responsibility should you injure yourself.
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April 9th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
This may be my favorite strip you’ve done. I hate Funky Winkerbean, or as i like to call it, CANCER CANCERBEAN, with the fiery passion of a thousand blazing Bill Hicks. Seriously, it tries to be inspirational but reduces going through cancer to the most pathetic, pitiable, every-one-sits-around-bawling bullshit ever. Screw Batuik. And he hangs out with John Byrne, so double screw him.
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April 9th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
YEAH! YOU SAID IT THOMAS. I HATE FUNKY WINKERBEAN TOO.
But oh, how I love hating it. How I love hating it so.
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April 9th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Haha, I literally just watched Requiem for the first time the other day, and afterwards I was like “Holy shit this is the most depressing thing ever.” I think Darren Aronofsky is some sort of supervillain out to depress the world one movie at a time. Thankfully we have Captain Farenheit Jr. and that other guy around to save us.
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April 9th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
It’s like looking into God’s face.
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April 9th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
I accept your birthday present to me
Good as usual
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April 9th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Thank you so much for reminding me how much I hated Requiem for a Dream. So much.
Amazing second panel….
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April 10th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
I liked the movie critically but god damn if the ending doesn’t make you contemplate suicide from how depressing it is.
Only thing that comes close to it is ‘The Golden Age’ arc from BERSERK (brilliant manga … but even go in the same room with a volume unless you can harden your heart to the horror)
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April 10th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Oh. My. God. Now I’ve seen everything.
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April 11th, 2010 at 7:57 am
Ahahahaha! YES!!
After giving it some thought (about 10 seconds), I have come to the conclusion that I definitely hate Requiem For A Dream more than Funky Winkerbean. This is because I wasted less time reading that pathetic piece of shit for a “comic” (the fact that it’s categorized as such is more amusing than FWB itself) than I did watching that trashy, self-indulgent, fucking sloppy excuse for a film. Fuck that movie. Fuck it right in it’s ass with a double sided dildo.
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April 11th, 2010 at 7:59 am
Also, this is my favorite quote from the responses. “…with the fiery passion of a thousand blazing Bill Hicks.” -Thomas
That’s poetic, folks!
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April 11th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
Some day you two should make fun of the “Love is…” comic strip:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/14/Love_is.jpg
The idea of a daily one-panel strip using oft-naked children to opine on the subject of love is sorta weird…
And in case you’re wondering, the segue is that the boy in “Love is…” has always reminded me of Les Moore from the 70s Funky Winkerbean strips (due to the haircut)…
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April 11th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
OH. MY. GOD.
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April 12th, 2010 at 8:52 am
[...] and Chris have delivered a most magnificent Funky Winkerbean strip. It is [...]
April 12th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I used to read Funky Winkerbean back when it was in the Memphis papers man moons ago, but I haven’t read it in a while. I see the subject matter is a lot deeper now.
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April 14th, 2010 at 8:16 am
I hope you guys realize that children are going to go out and rent Requiem for a Dream because of this.
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April 14th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
@Wolkin – D:
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May 9th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
http://hijinksensue.com/2007/11/19/lego-schindlers-list-would-have-been-overkill/
I know let’s take any random two things that come to our minds and mash them together! Back in you know, 2007.
It’s probably a coincidence and you don’t know about each other—but you’re riffing of the same formula. Like Penny Arcade or Family Guy.
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May 9th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
I hate to have to explain this, but it’s not just two random things we’re talking about here. The comic strip Funky Winkerbean puts it’s characters through about as much hell as does Requiem For A Dream. They’re connected in that sense.
I appreciate you checking us out and trying to keep us honest, no sarcasm, but try and do a little research before you accuse us of something. And try to be more specific than “you’re riffing of the same formula.” I’m not sure if you’re saying we ripped off that other comic or ripped off the idea of noticing similarities in different things.
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May 9th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
“I’m not sure if you’re saying we ripped off that other comic or ripped off the idea of noticing similarities in different things.”
More the latter than the former. I’m saying you’re both using the basic formula of noticing similarities in different things, and riffing (meant to be a lame jazz metaphor, sorry) of that formula in a way that ends up with very similar results in some cases. Yours is more tightly written, the other is usually more explicit (as in explained, not as in “explicit lyrics”), yours is implicit, but you ended up with more or less the exact same frames from the movie. The gag is different, they’re saying that RFAD is more “mature” than Star Wars, your saying that Funky Winkerbean (which I don’t like) is about as good/bad as RFAD (a movie I do like a lot), but the strips are still remarkably similar.
Another recent example of A + B is when you did that thing with Kevin in Archie + Japanese Internment (by way of conservatism, I guess?).
You deviate from that formula often enough (I guess more than you follow it, actually, good job) and I appreciate you’re doing this for free and kicking all our asses. I guess seeing that type of joke just stands out to me and I notice them more than when you do other jokes, which is unfair of me and I apologize.
I’m not saying Hijinks Ensue “invented” the formula, either. Family Guy and Penny Arcade and others have been doing it for a long time.
Of the four, the web comics are good, while Seth McFarlane’s stuff – not so much to my taste.
I just discovered Hijinks Ensue today (they’re not super unknown, they’re on TopatoCo) and as I was reading through their archive, I remembered your RFAD gag and came here to call you on it.
So you keep it real.
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May 9th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
“I hate to have to explain this, but it’s not just two random things we’re talking about here. The comic strip Funky Winkerbean puts it’s characters through about as much hell as does Requiem For A Dream. They’re connected in that sense.”
Yeah, I got that. I usually get the jokes. The only one that took me a while so far was that “Flick” one, but the comments explained it clearly enough.
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May 9th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Silver lining: ds just compared you guys to jazz musicians. STREET CRED.
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May 9th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
I promise there was no intended rip or anything of Hijinks Ensue as neither of us really read it. I do honestly appreciate you paying enough attention to call us out on it, though in this case it’s just coincidence. I’d hope that if we ever get to the point where we’re lazy enough to rip other cartoonists off somebody will have the balls to say something about it.
And thanks for the thoughtful criticism.
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May 9th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Seriously, guys. Combining existing ideas to create new ones is WAY HACKNEYED. I mean, it’s already been used by literally every single person who has ever had an idea. Because, you know, it’s the cognitive basis for creativity.
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May 9th, 2010 at 11:21 pm
I just googled “ass to ass” and got, literally, 50 million results. This seems to be a whole lotta somethin’ about nothin’. Just sayin’.
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May 9th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
Well I won’t stand for this use of comedic conventions such as “satire” and parody any longer! Especially when it compares things I like to things I don’t like!
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July 25th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
I actually read and collected the arc that John Byrne was in. I’m not a fan of Byrne, but because the strip was about the CBLDF and was written by Sean McKeever (Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, Young Allies).
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